No Hot Chocolate Is Safe


We’re Going To Science The Shit Out Of It

Most hot chocolatiers use a fairly subjective scale based on their own tastes. Let it be know that this is perfectly cromulent!  That said, while subjective criteria and scoring or judging based on that is often the minimum needed to make a decision on purchasing a hot chocolate, it can be hard to scale to others with different tastes. 

In an effort to complement those subjective-based scores across the whole wide internet, the Chockosnoblikon aims to give you all the data you need to make objective decisions without distorting your subjective lens.

 Be informed.  Make decisions.  Based on science.  Hot chocolate science.

The Science

Mug full of hot chocolate with a quote from David Rose from the tv show "Schitt's Creek" on it next to a plush octopush toy

So Many Options

Order Out

We bring the science lab to the restaurant to provide you with measures before you decide to buy.


Mixing liquid.  Sugar levels. Price.  All the things you need to know before making your grocery store purchase.


From the internet to your great grand uncle’s secret recipe.  We’re testing them so you know what not to do.